The best career-change present you could give yourself this Christmas

“We crucify ourselves between two thieves: regret for yesterday and fear of tomorrow.”
Fulton Oursler, American writer

One of the hardest things I’ve seen career-changers grapple with is making peace with yesterday so that they can move on in a new direction today.

It’s hardly surprising that this is difficult. My clients tend to be very intelligent, dedicated professionals who because of these qualities by the time they have reached their thirties or forties have achieved considerable success (if not always the deepest satisfaction) in their fields.

It’s not easy to let go of the status, sense of identity or – frankly speaking – the money that often comes with this success. Despite desperately wanting to change, many want-to-be career-changers are held back by the notion that it’s wasteful to abandon a path they have poured so much time, energy and funds into pursuing. These thoughts lead to those icky feelings of despair, obligation (the dreaded “shoulds”), self-blame and regret – all of which are great at keeping us stuck.

Take Bethany for example. Bethany, now 35, qualified as a veterinarian in the States. She and I worked together earlier this year when I did some contracting for INSPIRED, the wonderful organisation set up by my friend Jasmine to provide life and career transition support for expats and expat spouses in China.

Even though Bethany had doubts about her “fit” with veterinary science from her very first job, she found it hard to let go of the status that came with her profession, and of the feeling that she should continue having invested so much in it.

“If you say you’re a vet, people get an idea about you. They know how much education went in to that. They have a rough idea of what you do each day. Maybe they have a cat or dog themselves, so they find what you do interesting, they can relate.”

Bethany practised for many years before she was able to give herself permission to put her old career in the past. “Not as a mistake but as a part of my life that I had lived through and learned from.”

Now when Bethany tells people she’s a genealogist (her practice www.ancestorhound.com specialises in mid-Western genealogical research), they’re not as enthusiastic as they were about her previous career. But it doesn’t matter, because she’s enjoying herself doing something that’s just for her:

“I love my work. I get a thrill from looking up old Census records and thinking ‘that’s my grandmother – and those were her neighbours’. It goes beyond the facts of the research – it’s about encouraging conversations among families.”

In fact Bethany is so happy with the result of her career change, she now jokes that “divorce yourself from the past” is her new motto – which I find nicely ironic for someone in her line of business!

Here are some suggestions for letting go of the past as Bethany did:

1. Ask yourself, how is feeling bad about the past helping you? It’s not actually serving any useful purpose, beyond giving you the scant comfort that at least you feel miserable about not moving forward.

2. Reflect on what the past has taught you. You will bring a wisdom and richness to your next career that you could not have done as a shiny new blemish-free graduate.

3. Adopt a forward-looking motto. I love the 1961 “je ne regrette rien” song by Edith Piaf, but feel free to choose something less cheesy!

I know it easier said than done. But if 2010 is to mark the start of your new life, this Christmas why not give yourself the present of making peace with your past.

Merry Christmas!