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At the end of last November I caught the flu. Knocked flat for about 4 weeks, my usual joie de vivre vanished and exhaustion descended. I belatedly realised just how manic 2009 had been.
My health and sense of humour eventually recovered, thanks to a restorative Christmas with my parents in the West Country. The snow outside, the affectionate presence (and lingering smell) of two ageing golden retrievers, and frequent recourse to a glass or two of sherry – a strangely comforting liquid – worked their magic.
I know from conversations with clients and from email exchanges with many readers, that I was not alone in getting my work-life balance a little out of kilter last year.
How can we ensure 2010 is different? The key, I’d suggest, is in having time to think.
A little forethought stops us going off half-cocked after every opportunity – developing the interesting-but-not-core-strategy business ideas, responding to the not-quite-right job ads. These “justifiable” uses of time consume far more energy than we realise. Like the hamster on the wheel, we get full marks for effort, but where has all that scampering taken us?
“Our life is frittered way by detail….simplify, simplify” urges Thoreau.
Even ten minutes of focused thinking a day can pull us out of the detail. That precious window can prevent us plunging into unproductive busyness, or help us reach a conclusion on a thorny issue that we’ve been fruitlessly mulling over for weeks.
Here are some of the places I’ve been thinking this year:
On my bike. I cherish the daily cycle home from my daughter’s kindergarten. In just 13 minutes, I can often solve an issue that’s been bothering me for weeks. There’s something about the early morning air and the silent motion of the wheels. Seemingly effortlessly they untangle jumbled thoughts and quietly produce the right solution.
In the bath. Whilst the bike ride is for decision making, my bath is for creating. Ironically, by unwinding – letting go of deliberate thought – intriguing ideas pop out from amongst the bubbles.
Where do you unwind? Where do you feel free? Join me in thinking more and doing less this year.
“I’m very brave generally” he went on in a low voice,” only today I happen to have a headache.” So said Tweedledum in Alice Through a Looking Glass.
The key to successfully changing career isn’t understanding your values, identifying your favourite skills and passions, creating a killer action plan and gathering support and inspiration to keep you on your way.
All those things are very important. But they don’t get us anywhere without courage.
It can be hard to admit that what’s really holding us back isn’t lack of money, time, or clarity.
We know, deep down, that we can overcome these issues if we just grasp the nettle.
As someone who flirted around the edges of my own nettle bed for many years, I know that reaching out and definitively clutching those stingers is easier said than done.
- If you’ve worked in banking for 15 years and risen to the top rungs of the ladder, you have a lot to lose: great salary, benefits, status.
- If you’ve just been made redundant, you may be grappling with rejection and your confidence is likely to be pretty shaky.
- If you’ve hopped around from job to job, never quite finding your groove, you’ll find it hard to trust yourself and chances are you’re not as financially secure as you’d like to be.
We can all identify with Tweedledum. We’ve been brave in the past, but right now it’s January, it’s cold out and frankly we’d rather stick our head under the duvet.
But ignoring our career dissatisfaction doesn’t make it go away.
So how can we be brave, when it’s the last thing we feel like?
1. Burn your bridges!
As the invading Roman army crossed each bridge they would burn it, to discourage retreat. Give yourself no alternative but to move forward. Resign, declare publicly a hitherto secret goal, book a plane ticket, just say yes to something that scares the h*ll out of you and figure out how you’ll do it later.
This doesn’t mean leaving yourself with no security or destroying good working relationships. Make sure you have a safety net, but do ask yourself how much of a net you really need.
2. Ever increasing circles
If the above goes against your core DNA, try the opposite. Build up your confidence gradually by taking tiny steps in the right direction.
Sign up for the newsletter of an organisation that interests you, go to a conference in an industry that intrigues you, or call up the friend of a friend who made a move similar to the one that you’re contemplating.
3. 233, 600 hours
All you 40 year olds reading this, this is how many waking hours you may have left! This is assuming you get to 80, a fairly respectable innings that none of us can afford to take for granted.
It’s a sobering calculation and it’s not my intention to depress anyone. But now and then I think it’s worth reminding ourselves that our time here is finite, and we need to make the most of it.
4. Whistle a happy tune
On a lighter note….! Take a leaf from Deborah Kerr’s book. When faced with a daunting aspect of your career change, fake nonchalance.
An easy way to do this is to pretend you’re someone else. My mother for example is cowed by no-one (except spotty 16 year old bank clerks – a puzzling anomaly). She once gave me some great advice. When you need to make a phone call you’re worried about, don’t endlessly rehearse what you’re going to say – you’ll put the call off for days. Just pick up the phone and dial.
If you’re researching a career shift, don’t let those contacts languish neatly but uselessly on your excel spreadsheet until precisely the right moment (there never is one). Pick up the phone and dial!
5. Mix with the right crowd
The changes you are proposing will stir up strong feelings in those around you. Your family will want to protect you. Friends and colleagues may feel envious and unsettled.
Seek out people who have successfully achieved what you hope to, or who are on that track (you can find networking groups and forums of all flavours through a quick search on Google). It’s easier to be brave in the company of others headed in the same direction.
This is your one life. Don’t be trapped in the gilded cage of handsome salary and benefits, or in the dark cave of self-doubt and fear. Remember Seneca’s words:
“He who is brave is free.”
“We crucify ourselves between two thieves: regret for yesterday and fear of tomorrow.”
Fulton Oursler, American writer
One of the hardest things I’ve seen career-changers grapple with is making peace with yesterday so that they can move on in a new direction today.
It’s hardly surprising that this is difficult. My clients tend to be very intelligent, dedicated professionals who because of these qualities by the time they have reached their thirties or forties have achieved considerable success (if not always the deepest satisfaction) in their fields.
It’s not easy to let go of the status, sense of identity or – frankly speaking – the money that often comes with this success. Despite desperately wanting to change, many want-to-be career-changers are held back by the notion that it’s wasteful to abandon a path they have poured so much time, energy and funds into pursuing. These thoughts lead to those icky feelings of despair, obligation (the dreaded “shoulds”), self-blame and regret – all of which are great at keeping us stuck.
Take Bethany for example. Bethany, now 35, qualified as a veterinarian in the States. She and I worked together earlier this year when I did some contracting for INSPIRED, the wonderful organisation set up by my friend Jasmine to provide life and career transition support for expats and expat spouses in China.
Even though Bethany had doubts about her “fit” with veterinary science from her very first job, she found it hard to let go of the status that came with her profession, and of the feeling that she should continue having invested so much in it.
“If you say you’re a vet, people get an idea about you. They know how much education went in to that. They have a rough idea of what you do each day. Maybe they have a cat or dog themselves, so they find what you do interesting, they can relate.”
Bethany practised for many years before she was able to give herself permission to put her old career in the past. “Not as a mistake but as a part of my life that I had lived through and learned from.”
Now when Bethany tells people she’s a genealogist (her practice www.ancestorhound.com specialises in mid-Western genealogical research), they’re not as enthusiastic as they were about her previous career. But it doesn’t matter, because she’s enjoying herself doing something that’s just for her:
“I love my work. I get a thrill from looking up old Census records and thinking ‘that’s my grandmother – and those were her neighbours’. It goes beyond the facts of the research – it’s about encouraging conversations among families.”
In fact Bethany is so happy with the result of her career change, she now jokes that “divorce yourself from the past” is her new motto – which I find nicely ironic for someone in her line of business!
Here are some suggestions for letting go of the past as Bethany did:
1. Ask yourself, how is feeling bad about the past helping you? It’s not actually serving any useful purpose, beyond giving you the scant comfort that at least you feel miserable about not moving forward.
2. Reflect on what the past has taught you. You will bring a wisdom and richness to your next career that you could not have done as a shiny new blemish-free graduate.
3. Adopt a forward-looking motto. I love the 1961 “je ne regrette rien” song by Edith Piaf, but feel free to choose something less cheesy!
I know it easier said than done. But if 2010 is to mark the start of your new life, this Christmas why not give yourself the present of making peace with your past.
Merry Christmas!
 A few days ago I downloaded a talk from the TED website that has been replaying itself in my mind ever since.
TED is a non profit organisation dedicated to spreading “ideas worth sharing.” TED believes that through powerful ideas we can change our lives, and ultimately the world.
In this particular talk, brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor was relating her experience of suffering a massive stroke several years previously.
She watched as the practical, individualistic side of her brain shut down and she lost her ability to move, speak or be aware of her self as a separate person. At the same time the creative, holistic side of her brain opened up. She experienced the awe and beauty of merging into, becoming an indistinguishable part of, the life energy all around her.
As she drifted into unconsciousness, Jill faced the near certainty of her death. In her own words, she was struck with the realisation that she was no longer the choreographer of her own life.
How frightening it must be to lose our tenuous grip on life. Meeting our end with peace and dignity - as so many people do - must call on all our reserves of wisdom, faith and courage.
That moment in the video made me think. We have so much power over the direction our lives can take. Yet in the end we have none.
I suppose that thought could support a nihilistic view - that life is meaningless so whatever we do it doesn’t matter. For me though, it just reinforces the importance of making the very most of the time we do have.
Choreography literally means “dance writing”. I love that as a metaphor for a way to live our lives. Jill was a wise lady. Before the stroke, she was already dancing through her life - wholeheartedly engaged in work that she passionately believed in.
But sadly we don’t get up on our dancing toes enough. We too often sludge heavy-footed through the humdrum, literally marching to someone else’s tune. Maybe we work for a company whose purpose seems pointless to us. Or perhaps we have focused so much on our partner or children’s happiness that we have forgotten our own hopes and dreams.
You are important.
In the words of Henry Ford:
“Every new life is a new thing under the sun; there has never been anything just like it before, and never will be again”
What is your unique dance?
Share it with the world. No-one else can dance it quite like you.
Click here to view Jill’s incredible talk
Stroke of Insight,
You can also subscribe to receive regular video feeds of the latest TED talks as they are recorded.
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Published
October 18, 2009
 Although we don’t always like to admit it, one of the biggest reasons we don’t always go for what we want in work - or life - is that we are afraid of failure.
Why does the idea of failure hold such power over us? Actually, we recover from failures all the time. Consider this:
How many relationships have you “failed” at?
Unless you married your childhood sweetheart, the chances are that you lie somewhere in the range “less than Madonna, more than Lady Di” (to quote Andi McDowell in Four Weddings and A Funeral). And although it can really hurt, we do eventually get over our past loves and venture back out into dating territory. And let’s face it, there’s not much that’s tougher than that!
At school were you ever REALLY BAD at anything?
When I was 12 my school sports report for the year read simply “Sarah’s ball skills need improving.” A whole page was set aside for comments and I secured just that one damning sentence.
What were you terrible at at school? Did it irredeemably blight the rest of your life?
Ever had an interview but didn’t get the job?
I still vividly recall, 15 years later, two interviews I had for a legal training contract. The partner terminated one after 7 minutes, by asking me if I had any questions. At the end of the other, I reached for a Kit Kat from the plate in the middle of the table. “Take a few” the interviewer graciously remarked “you might as well get something from this interview“. (So I did.)
But when we think about it, we wouldn’t expect to get every job we interviewed for, to get As in every subject or to land the perfect relationship first go. A certain amount of failure is normal.
Reminding ourselves that we are accustomed to failure - that it’s a common and overcomeable part of our lives - is a good way to reduce its power.
What have been the major failures, or emotional low points, in your life?
Take some time to write them down. A very helpful exercise is to think about what you’ve learnt from each one (compassion, patience, forethought?…likely many important things).
But the main point is to notice that you’ve made it past them. You’re still here - presumably relatively unscathed. That is, getting up every day, breathing, getting dressed, eating, able to work, make friends, bring up your children and find your house keys (ok maybe that’s pushing it).
So when you look back at those difficult times, what strategies did you, perhaps subconsciously, use to get through them?
I remember an exercise I did years ago when training to volunteer at a Drugs Project in Bristol. The trainer asked us to draw a timeline of our life and mark the really tough points. Then we recalled what we’d done each time to cope.
I realised that one of my main coping mechanisms is to immerse myself in information. When my friend was diagnosed with leukaemia, I scoured the internet until I became an amateur expert on her strain of the disease. After a painful relationship break-up I read everything I could lay my hands on about the meaning of love, life…you name it…I became quite the philosopher.
What got you through your hard times?
Know that you can tackle any new situation - a business failure, a job loss - with these same strategies. Failure becomes then not something to fear, but as Henry Ford wisely observed “simply the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.”
Good places to find out more about bouncing back from failure:
Thank you to Ellie who recently introduced her blog to me. It’s entirely devoted to the subject of resilience, and sparked the idea for this article: www.bouncebackcafe.com/
My new friend Sital has written a great post on the advantages of “screwing things up” - www.6figurecareermanagement.com/cvsresumes/be-average-and-have-lots-of-goes/
And a good book on the subject: www.amazon.com/Resilience-Factor-Essential-Overcoming-Inevitable/dp/0767911903
What we do for a living is such a big part of our lives that if work isn’t going well, our career-related unhappiness often spills over into other parts of our lives.
Our relationships suffer because we moan all the time
Our finances suffer because we keep making extravagant purchases to cheer ourselves up.
And our life balance suffers because our long work hours have killed off all our hobbies. (Or, we’re totally EXHAUSTED from throwing every spare hour into our hobbies to make up for our horrible work life).
So then we’re in such a miserable place that gaining any kind of career clarity or forward movement feels like tru-dg-ing through treacle. We’re simply not in a frame of mind to think creatively or positively.
Your best ally
The best thing you can do in a treacle-trudging situation is take the pressure off. Forget about figuring out the perfect career that will bring you happiness at some future date and focus instead on getting happy now.
“most people think of happiness as a desirable outcome…the emotional paycheck for effort and achievement…Research paints a very different picture…happiness is actually beneficial in and of itself, and acts as important psychological capital ..a means to a valued end rather than a goal in itself” reminds positive psychologist Robert Biswas-Diener.
We all too often fall for the “if…then” trap. If I had a different job/better pay/a successful business/my novel published then I would be happy.
What positive psychology research has found is that - ironically - getting happy first actually increases the likelihood of you reaching the goals you have set to make yourself happy.
So how to get happy?!
Here are a few things that work for me. Many of these ideas are backed up by research:
1. Surround yourself with positive, like-minded people
Close your ears to negative comments from people who don’t share your values or interests and seek out new and supportive circles: join a film club, debating society, hiking group, writing circle, or volunteer for a cause or enrol in a course that interests you.
Broadening your social circle is the best way to move past rigid and unhelpful ways of thinking and fully embrace the freeing notion that there is no one way of experiencing life.
2. Start new hobbies (or reintroduce old ones)
Linked to point 1. Don’t worry too much about whether and how this new hobby is something you want to earn a living from. The key is to reconnect with activities that give you pleasure. You will gain new skills and fresh perspectives, and expand your sense of who you are. All of these things will make a change in direction (whatever that turns out to be) easier down the line.
3. Create or seek out uplifting environments
Dedicate a small area of your home to your career plans and make it somewhere you love to be. You don’t need a whole room - a desk in the corner of your living room is plenty. Keep the space free of clutter, add a vase of fresh flowers, place photos of family or friends around, or whatever makes you feel relaxed and positive.
Our brains also respond well to a change of scene so think about places outside of your home you could escape to for some career pondering. I’m writing this from Grandma’s Kitchen, my favourite cafe tucked down a small hutong (alleyway) a couple of minutes by bike from where I live. I’m sitting in their covered verandah with a couple of snoozing cats for company and a view of pomegranate trees, lavender, roses and trailing vines. Whenever I’m feeling a little out of sorts, the place never fails to work its magic.
4. Be kind to yourself
Be conscious of how often you berate yourself for not having figured out your life yet or being less talented/well-off/successful/informed than friends, colleagues, neighbours or world experts.
Instead of haranguing yourself, substitute a kinder, more motivating message. It often helps to imagine you are talking to someone else (we’re never as hard on other people as we are on ourselves!).
For example, instead of
“Because I haven’t read every book ever published on earthworm reproduction I am not qualified to lecture/write a best-seller/hold workshops/impart any knowledge whatsoever on this topic”
Substitute
“The short course I took “The Life Cycle of the Humble Earthworm” means I have a degree of understanding that novice earthworm enthusiasts will gladly pay to tap into”
*TIP for want-to-be workshop holders, whatever the topic: use a “coach approach” to draw out participants’ existing knowledge and experience. People don’t just want to hear the “expert.” They want an opportunity to reflect more deeply on their own understanding and learn from fellow attendees, and they appreciate being able to do this in a structured environment like a workshop. Knowing it doesn’t all have to come from you lessens the pressure!
5. Give yourself time out
If it’s been a while since you truly enjoyed your work or other important aspects of your life, give yourself a break - literally.
Decide on a window of time (one, two or six months even) when you aren’t going to worry about the future. Allow yourself simply to get back in touch NOW with what makes you happy.
Experiment, treat yourself gently, and don’t take anything too seriously. When you’re happier, the mists will lift and you’ll see so much more clearly the shape of your new career and the path you need to take to get there.
When it comes to changing career, no-one can deny that you’re likely to meet a lot of obstacles. But are these barriers set in stone?
Early this morning I was struck by an apt analogy. I live, as many of you know, in a Chinese courtyard house, full of charm but somewhat tatty around the edges.
Half way along the base of my outside wall are three stone steps leading up to a non-existent second doorway that was filled in by my landlord long ago. So they are pretty pointless. But simply because THEY ARE THERE, I’d made plans to accommodate them.
 Room for a Mini? For example, I’d thought about getting a VERY small car, which could just squeeze into the tiny gap between the steps and my front door. And I’d decided to dot pots of flowers up and down them so they were at least a bit prettier.
Recently I was discussing the repainting of my outside wall with the scarily efficient lady who runs a hole-in-the-wall repairs/redecoration type shop across the street.
“What do you want to do about these steps” she barked. “Shall we knock them down?”
It had never occurred to me.
In a flash, my perspective shifted. With the steps gone, I could get a car as big as I liked – that suited me, not my limited environment. And there’d be no need for the flower pot disguise. Ingenious!
Cycling my daughter to kindergarten after this stunning revelation, I pondered. What other obstacles was I accommodating? What other simple solutions had habit, or the status quo, made me blind to?
If you feel like you’re banging your head against the proverbial wall in your career change, ask yourself this:
What am I accommodating?
(long hours, a commute, a perceived lack of skills, fears and limiting beliefs…whatever X is)
If I bulldozed X, what new opportunities would open up to me?
For example:
What if, instead of keeping your career dreams a secret from your boss, you BULLDOZED your fear of revealing them?
Contrary to expectation, your boss is unlikely to immediately fire you. People understand that it’s a rare person who has one career for life these days. If your boss is a half-way decent person they are more likely to appreciate your honesty and do what they can to support you.
Here are some of the potential advantages:
• Instead of feeling gagged and fraudulent, you’d be able to talk freely with people about your new direction. Your colleagues will almost certainly have contacts – a friend, sister in law, or neighbour – who could be useful to you.
• Instead of squeezing your transition plans into the few, tired hours you aren’t working, you could request time off or a change in hours – say even to a 4 day week if your budget can stretch to that. Freeing you up for interning, courses, or research (without the need to fabricate dentist appointments or ill grandparents).
• Instead of self-doubt, you will feel an increased sense of self-belief. Because by taking these steps towards change (sorry couldn’t resist) you have sent yourself and the world a strong signal that you really mean it! What started out as a fantasy starts to feel more real.
What do you need to bulldoze?
What new perspective would that give you? What opportunities would open up?
 Make way for the Jeep!
It’s easy to get bogged down when making a big career or lifestyle change. Time and money pressures are very real.
Taking a radical, bold and unusual approach can sometimes be more effective than ploughing on in logical, incremental death-by-a-thousand-cuts steps.
I’ve certainly experienced this myself, so today I’d like to share with you “The China Cure”, below, an article I wrote for an expatriate magazine out here just over three years ago. It was about 6 months after I got to China - before I even re-trained as a coach. It’s quite a personal story, which I’m a little hesitant in sharing, so please judge me kindly!
The China Cure: One Mother’s Journey
Elsa at 8 months
with her beloved ayi Eighteen months ago I discovered, to my surprise, that I was pregnant. I had been dimly aware of my biological clock, but children were firmly in the “some day” category. To complicate matters further, I was no longer with the father.
We had not known each other long, and he was now in a relationship with someone else; under the circumstances he felt he could not be involved. Although saddened for Elsa (I found out I was having a girl), in many ways this made it easier for me. I was free to do as I pleased.
Except that the options didn’t look that great. Waiting for a friend in a pub in one of London’s less salubrious districts, I sat dutifully sipping ginger ale (at least it sounded alcoholic), scribbling a budget on a scrap of paper. Money would be tight: I’d have to work full time to cover rent and childcare costs, and I’d be left with less than I’d survived on at university 15 years earlier. Worse, because of my long commute, I would barely see my daughter during the week.
Besides the grim financial situation I didn’t relish the lifestyle rolling out before me - watching plastic toys sprout from every corner of my home, swapping toilet-training tales with the neighbours, attending playgroups with people with whom I had only motherhood in common.
Gradually, thoughts of an escape route began to form. On holiday in Cambodia a couple of years earlier, I’d been enjoying a coffee and some people-watching in a cafe in Phnom Penh when I was struck by the sight of a Western girl about my own age. She was reading at a neighbouring table next to a baby that looked no more than a couple of months old. I decided I wanted that life.
In the end I traded the romance of Phnom Penh for the opportunities offered by another favourite city - Beijing. I reckoned it was large enough to offer some decent job prospects and a varied social life, and I was drawn to the idea of learning Mandarin. And, importantly, I had a good friend there with her family, which made the whole idea a lot less scary.
So when Elsa turned three months to the day, we boarded the plane. We have now been in Beijing seven months, and every day I think how lucky I am to be here. Because of the low cost of living I can support myself with just a part-time job and still spend every afternoon with my daughter. When I’m at work, Elsa’s ayi looks after her like a surrogate grandmother.
Of course there are downsides. Even though I go home fairly often, I feel guilty that my parents are missing out on watching Elsa grow up close at hand. The pollution can be tiresome, and I do miss grass. But all this is far outweighed by the stimulation of being in a country that teaches you something new each day and infects you with its energy and its friendliness.
My favourite pastime is a wander through the local housing behind my apartment. In a complex of red brick, three storey apartment blocks, peonies poke through rusting gilled verandas, washing dries in the summer air and old men tend to the tiny patches of earth that are their gardens. And at the street market you can buy more vegetables than it’s possible to hang off a stroller, for just over £1.
Perhaps this idyllic existence will come crashing down around my ears once Elsa reaches toilet training age, but so far the once feared trappings of motherhood haven’t encroached too obviously. Plastic toys have admittedly invaded my home, but I’ve managed to keep them to a minimum. And the playgroups and mothers here have actually been a wonderful means of support.
Despite not being the obvious choice, relocating to China has worked magic on some of the difficulties I was facing. So if there’s a life you know you want, I say go for it!
Interested in reading more?
The China Cure sparked a monthly column, Me Myself and Elsa, about bringing up a young child as an expat single mother in Beijing. If you’d like to read about Elsa’s first day at Chinese kindergarten, the hilarious meal I shared with Elsa’s ayi’s extended family, our search for a traditional courtyard home and more, you can find the columns here:
http://www.beijing-kids.com/magazine/Sarah-Cooper
It wasn’t that long ago that I was in a job that made me miserable. But although I knew what I DIDN’T want, I wasn’t exactly sure what I DID. I had some ideas but they were vague and unformed, and anyway I had no idea about how to go about achieving them.
Moreover I was plagued by the doubt that doing something you really loved was even possible for “ordinary” people like me. It was a confusing, demoralising and lonely time.
Then one day I was surfing the net and came across a website that featured people who were now making a living doing what they truly enjoyed - or who were in the throes of making that happen. These people wanted more than a job. They wanted work which inspired them - which made them feel they were making the best possible use of their time on this planet. And they wanted more freedom and flexibilty in their lives - something which also resonated with me strongly. (The site was www.changingcourse.com)
Knowing that there were other people like me “out there” encouraged me to keep going with my own dreams. So I know how important it is to find like-minded people, even if they’re virtual!
Here are 10 websites or blogs which “spoke” to me in one way or another. Some are British, some American, and they all have a slightly different focus, style and tone. But they have in common a positive, can-do approach. I hope you find inspiration, information and ideas amongst them.
1. http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/
I’ve recommended this blog before before but it bears repeating! Pam Slim writes informally and wittily - but always wisely - on breaking out of corporate imprisonment to thrive as an entrepreneur.
Pamela has also just written the Escape From Cubicle Nation book - you can download a free sample chapter from her website and order from Amazon.
2. http://www.enterprisenation.com/
A free resource founded by Brit Emma Jones to help you start and grow your business at home. Register to access all the site’s features and post in their active forum - a great place to find information and advice on all aspects of starting a business, from input on strategy to basic stuff like finding a good printer.
3. http://www.moretolaw.com
A unique website set up by a former City of London lawyers to promote all the career and lifestyle options open to lawyers - within or outside of the legal sector. Some inspiring success stories, like the ex solicitor who set up an award-winning independent bookshop in Bath. You don’t need to be a lawyer to get something out of this site - it makes thought-provoking reading for anyone wanting to make a radical change.
4. http://www.careershifters.org
Run as a social enterprise, Careershifters is passionate about helping people to find work that makes them truly happy. The website features hundreds of articles by specialist career coaches (including myself), the Careershifters Guide ebook and the Shift Club, an online community for people to exchange ideas and support. They also hold affordable monthly workshops in London - I ran one in July and hope to do more during visits back to the UK.
5. www.changingcourse.com
Valerie Young is the “interests into income” expert who can see cows from her window. That one statement in an article on her website set off little bells in my head that years later led to me setting up my own business. What might you read on one of these sites that proves a turning point for you?
6. http://chrisguillebeau.com/3×5/
Chris Guillebeau’s blog is called The Art of Nonconformity - Unconventional Strategies for Life, Work and Travel. Chris has set himself the target of visiting every country in the world by the time he is 35. Check out his information products on breaking out of the 9-5, thriving as an artist (without selling out) and using social media to get your message out to the world.
7. http://zenhabits.net/
One of the top 100 blogs on the internet with over 134,000 subscribers! Not about career change specifically, but full of positive messages about living more simply yet productively.
8. http://www.everywoman.com/
Sorry this one is just for the girls! Everywoman is the UK’s leading provider of training, resources and support services for women in business. Register (free) to join their female entrepreneur network and get your questions answered in the discussion forum.
9. http://www.mindtools.com
Mind-bogglingly comprehensive website featuring free articles on developing leadership skills, time management, problem solving, project management, decision making, and more. Option to pay to join the Career Excellence Club which includes a discussion forum, coaching clinic and self study training modules.
10. http://www.cowsfrommywindow.com/blog/
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 When it comes to making a career change, the commonly held view is that small steps are the best way forward.
Small steps are great because they reduce overwhelm and counteract that awful feeling of paralysis. It is true that tiny actions over time can add up to a big result.
Take learning a language for example. I have lived in Beijing for nearly 4 years now and am constantly berating myself for my lack of progress with Chinese characters.
If I had set myself a tiny goal of learning one character a day, by now I would know nearly 1500 of the wretched things – which, according to google, is enough to understand 94% of most Chinese texts.
So I believe in the power of the small step approach, and I frequently advocate it. The problem is, I’m not very good at it. And I reckon some of you reading this may feel the same way.
Two ways to remove a band-aid
“There are two ways to remove a band-aid. Quickly and painfully, or slowly and painfully.”
John Wood, whose charity Room to Read has set up over 2,000 schools and libraries across Asia and Africa, says the best advice he was ever given was to think of his former comfortable but unfulfilling job as a band-aid.
He had a choice. Remove the plaster quickly by resigning from his high flying career at Microsoft and devoting himself to his start up charity full time. Or remove it slowly by steadily building the charity up alongside his job.
John Wood chose the former. It made sense for him, partly because he could – he had savings – and partly because his all-consuming Microsoft career would have left scarce time for other activities. Small steps weren’t really that practical.
But I think personality plays as an important part as circumstances. I haven’t met John Wood, but in his book Leaving Microsoft to Change The World, he comes across as a “just do it,” big picture, impatient-for-results kind of guy. I think he’d have torn that plaster off quickly almost whatever the circumstances.
(Do read his book by the way – a very honest and utterly absorbing account of how he changed not just his career but his whole life).
When to just go for it
If you’re currently taking small steps, and know that you are making progress – no matter how slow – do keep at it
The small steps approach, in my view, only needs reconsidering when:
- You’re forever thinking about taking small steps, but you never actually commit to them for any consistent period of time
- You are taking steps, but you’re not really getting anywhere. It’s easy to indulge in “safe” steps that don’t take us out of our comfort zone but then don’t really make any headway either. Surfing the net endlessly “researching our career change” is a classic example.
It’s this latter scenario that I think is the most dangerous. We can spend months, even years, kidding ourselves that we’re working on our career change, when what we really need to do is take a deep breath, and pull that plaster off in one go.
Sometimes, we do need to make the bold move:
- Resign our jobs without a new one to go to
- Take a flyer on a new business idea
- Move to the other side of the world
Everything in us (and surely, all our friends of family around us) will scream that we are crazy.
But a funny thing happens once we’ve done the seemingly crazy thing. From the other side, it doesn’t look so mad after all. The world doesn’t spin off its axis in astonishment. After a week or so of flurried phone calls, our friends get used to our changed circumstances. Best of all, as a former client of mine said, “once we commit, the universe really does conspire to help us.”
I can’t promise that your dream career will suddenly get handed to you on a plate. And obviously, there is bold and there is stupid. Please don’t resign your job if you have no financial cushion whatsoever and a family to support.
But take a leap and you will find that courses…work opportunities…useful contacts all come out of the woodwork to support you.
Most important of all, you’ll have sent yourself a signal that you trust in yourself and your ability to survive – and flourish – in a different kind of life.
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