In this post, I want to look at what is probably the biggest challenge facing many of us wanting to make career or lifestyle changes: FEAR!
I’ve always been fascinated by fear, and its flip side, courage. In my teens I was very shy. Standing on the threshold of the “grown up world”, many things seemed to present insuperable barriers to entry. Getting on a plane by myself, going to the doctors alone (never mind the dentist), cooking a roast dinner for friends. I couldn’t conceive of a time when I would feel comfortable accomplishing even such minor tasks. So I developed the concept of “Brave Acts.” Somehow branding my fears in these positive terms forced me to screw up my courage, and do what I was afraid of.
Although my roast dinners leave a lot to be desired, and I can’t say I face the dentist with total equanimity, I have of course now graduated beyond these childhood anxieties. But the point of fear is that, as long as you are growing, there will always be new fears to be faced.
I recently read for the first time the long-standing classic “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway”. Author Susan Jeffers argues that although fear can take many forms (fear of failure, of criticism, or the unknown to name a few), behind them all there is one underlying assumption: I can’t handle it!
Whether we fear our new business folding, our friends’ disparagement, or our journey into unfamiliar territory, the common denominator is that we just don’t trust ourselves to deal with it.
So what’s the answer? It lies in the second half of the book’s title – do it anyway. Perversely, it’s only by doing the very thing that we are terrified of, that we are able to neutralise our fears. It’s nearly always the case that anticipation is worse than actuality. Think about how you feel teetering on the edge of a swimming pool dreading the cold plunge. Once you’re in, you soon warm up and start to enjoy yourself.
You don’t even need to plunge. Just taking small steps towards our goals helps us to gain confidence in our ability to cope. If you are battling with fear, I recommend Jeffers’ book as a first toe in the water.
